Voice #1: Nikolai Tolstykh — president of the Russian Football Union (RFU). Voice #2: Yevgeny Giner — president and co-owner of CSKA football club. Voice #3: Sergei Stepashin — former chairman of the Accounts Chamber of the Russian Federation (Russia’s state audit office). Voice #4: Vladimir Yakunin — president of Russian Railways. Voice #5: Olga Smorodskaya — president of Lokomotiv football club. Voice #6: Alexander Dyukov — chairman of the management board of Gazprom Neft, president of Zenit football club. Voice #7: Suleiman Kerimov — owner of Anzhi football club. Voice #8: Vyacheslav Koloskov — honorary president of the RFU. Voice #9: Sergei Pryadkin — president of the Russian Premier League. Voice #10: Sergei Galitsky — owner of the Magnit retail chain and Krasnodar football club.

Do read it — this is the text of the day, obviously. It’s about a meeting of the Russian Football Union on what to do about football in Crimea.

It’s practically a play, and every part of it is brilliant — from Yakunin recalling that sanctions had already been “slapped on” him, to former Accounts Chamber chief Stepashin with his “good Lord, half the country has its money in offshore accounts.”

Original