This may be the perfect text from a high-ranking Russian official.
Everyone has thoughts like this running through their head—wanting to answer critics in exactly this crude, loutish language—but not everyone would dare post it on Facebook. This one did.
There used to be a governor in Kostroma Region named Slyunyaev. He was terrible at his job—bad even by the standards of a United Russia governor. He went into the next election at the head of the United Russia party list, as a supposed “heavyweight” and “locomotive” (a well-known name meant to pull votes), but the list crashed spectacularly: local residents had come to dislike the official that much.
After that, Slyunyaev decided to start a new life. He took the surname Albin, even though there were no Albins among his relatives. He explained that he had conducted genealogical research and discovered that his lineage (!!) had been founded (!!) by the Albins (!!). But, he said, the family had changed its surname against its will.
You have to admit, that alone makes Slyunyaev look unhinged.
Even so, they still managed to place this unhinged man in a job as vice governor of St. Petersburg, where he remains to this day. Albin directly oversaw construction of Zenit Arena, which cost us 48 billion rubles, and, as we can see, he took great offense at my latest video:
So he wrote a response. Be sure to read the whole thing.
He addresses me informally and calls me “Lyokha” (a familiar form of Alexei)—naturally, a true Petersburger. But what struck me most was how he put on this rugged working-man act and suggested that I should go shovel dirt and breathe in concrete dust.
“I’ve heard something like that before,” I thought. And sure enough:
So that’s his signature move: whenever he’s accused of incompetence and doing a bad job, he tells everyone to “pick up a shovel.”
At that point I got curious. What kind of biography does old Albin have, if he’s so obsessed with shovels? Maybe he really is the salt of the earth, a man who’s done plenty of manual labor.
But our hero’s biography is utterly standard. The most blue-collar job he’s ever had was lab assistant.
- Lab assistant; - Student at the Higher Police School; - District Komsomol committee (Communist youth organization); - Bank; - Government official since 1996.
So when exactly did he have time to breathe concrete dust? Probably back when he was a Komsomol secretary. Maybe they got tired of drinking and sniffing Moment glue and decided to get high on concrete dust instead.
In other words, a completely classic parasite and freeloader, living at our expense for 20 years, who somehow bought himself—naturally, a Porsche Cayenne—on a civil servant’s salary, and wants us not to notice the looting of billions. And if we do notice, then it’s “go pick up a shovel.”
Dear official Albin,
Where is your latest financial disclosure? We would very much like to see it. Please publish it before May.
Do you have anything substantive to say in response? Without the “Lyokha,” “worked off his little million,” and “trying to smear the President” routine.
What is the name of this secret oligarch who was “siphoning off the stadium budget for two five-year plans” (a Soviet-style way of saying ten years)? I’m very interested—name him. In fact, now I insist not only that you name him, but that you also file a report with law enforcement, if someone really was “siphoning it off for two five-year plans.” I’m sure the people of St. Petersburg will support that.
The figures for the stadium’s cost are not just “some incomprehensible lines flashing on the screen,” but a table in the description with all the necessary links and supporting evidence. Didn’t notice it? Try breathing less concrete dust—it’s bad for you. For that matter, on modern construction sites nobody should be breathing concrete dust, and over the past 50 years shovels have largely been replaced by machinery. You probably didn’t notice that either—on your construction projects, so much is stolen that apparently there’s only enough money left for shovels.
Don’t lie. What is being passed off as “site improvement” is in fact multibillion-ruble corrupt contracting tied to Zenit Arena—everyone understands that, and we proved the illegality of it quite recently.
So explain, after all, how exactly did you manage to buy a Porsche Cayenne? It costs far more than your annual income. I don’t believe for a second that you saved up for years by practically starving yourselves. Your face looks well-fed.
I don’t need an escort. I’ll manage. In the beautiful Russia of the future, you won’t need one either—the only people escorting you will be prison guards.
Do write again—you have an interesting style.
And now a word to everyone who has information or documents about Albin-Slyunyaev’s corrupt dealings. Send them to us via the Black Box completely anonymously. Let’s see what this gentleman has dug up for himself with his shovel.
And let’s spread this video everywhere we can, if it rattles officials this much.