Senility. Senility, my friends. That is the main threat facing Russia.
Our national leader is closer to it than ever, and looking at his astonishing hockey victories, it already seems as though he has one foot over the line.
This is no exaggeration. Just remember Brezhnev. He went off the rails over medals.
Four Hero of the Soviet Union stars. The whole country laughed, but the shiny trinkets just kept coming. Even foreign leaders caught on: the old man had lost his mind over decorations, so they started showering him with awards too.
For Putin, instead of awards, it is money and now hockey. Or rather, goals. Pucks he scores to the applause of the stands, the howling commentary of federal TV announcers, and approving remarks from teammates who have figured it out: the old man has become obsessed with counting the goals he scores.
In 2012, Putin first took the ice with the stars and scored two goals. It was the day of his inauguration, and former leaders Berlusconi and Schröder watched from the stands in admiration.
By 2014, it was already six goals.
By 2015, Putin's skill had improved astonishingly. He played two games that year and scored seven in one and eight in the other.
After such staggering success, as often happens with athletes, a rough patch followed. In 2016, Putin was late to his own game, only came on in the second period, and scored just one goal. But no matter—his team still won 9–5.
In 2017, Putin got back into form and scored six goals—one more than his teammate Pavel Bure.
In 2018, Putin had five goals. Plus a few friendly matches where, even though the score supposedly does not matter, Putin's team still always wins.
And just now, ten goals—but then they apparently decided that was too much and announced: no, Putin is modest. There had been a mistake. He had only neatly scored eight goals against the opposing side.
And you may also find the "Night Hockey League" interesting.
For example, did you know that it is ultimately registered to an offshore company in the Virgin Islands?
That it is funded largely not by sponsors at all, but by the state budget?
And so on—there is a lot more interesting stuff there.
I made a video about it, and I would be very grateful if you helped share it.