Apparently, the song “Bad Guy” is the soundtrack to my prison term. At the very least, some Kremlin official was clearly listening to it while drawing up my punishment plan. Listening and muttering: you’re the baaaaad guy. In Russian prisons, there are two main disciplinary penalties: a reprimand and placement in a punishment cell (SHIZO, a punitive isolation cell). Get two reprimands and you can be sent to SHIZO, and it’s a nasty thing—the conditions there are close to torture. My bad-guy portfolio already includes: - Being classified as an escape risk in the “Kremlin Central” detention facility - 4 reprimands in 2 weeks at the Kolchugino pre-trial detention center - 6 reprimands in 2 weeks at Penal Colony No. 2 in Pokrov. There are about 20 incident reports currently under review, including things like: - Got out of bed 10 minutes before the “wake-up” command - Refused to go out for morning exercises, telling the unit chief: “Why don’t we go have some coffee instead?” - Refused to watch a video lecture, calling it idiotic - Wore a T-shirt to a meeting with my lawyers (I’m not joking) I’m waiting for a reprimand worded something like: “smiled broadly even though, according to the daily schedule, it was time to suffer.” My reprimands are issued by a seven-member disciplinary commission. And when they lecture me, sitting beneath a portrait of Putin, I’m reminded of how I used to get scolded at a school faculty council meeting. Very similar. - Don’t argue, Navalny, with the history teacher—he knows best. People who argue too much go downhill and sooner or later end up in prison. What’s remarkable is, they were right! Don’t break the rules! (But still, do break them just a little bit 😉)