I am an icon of conscious consumption. There is only a mug and a book in my cell. They give me a spoon and a plate only for mealtimes. They even took away my prison clothes and issued me temporary ones. Now there are huge white letters across my back: SHIZO (punishment cell). Greetings from the punishment cell. A real trade union struggle is never easy, let alone a trade union in prison. The Kremlin wants its GULAG (Soviet-style prison camp system) to consist of mute slaves. And here I am, instead of begging for clemency, organizing people and demanding compliance with certain laws. So they summoned me from the barracks to a disciplinary commission, where they announced that video footage shows me regularly unbuttoning the top button of my prison uniform while in the industrial work zone. This, of course, marks me as an incorrigible villain. Therefore, it has been decided to place me in the punishment cell. For now, for 3 days, but—grinning happily, the acting warden added—in mid-September I have a visit scheduled with my relatives. Visits are forbidden for inmates held in SHIZO, so if I do not “reconsider my attitude,” the punishment cell will become my permanent residence. It is unclear what exactly I am supposed to reconsider my attitude toward. Forced labor? Putin? SHIZO is the harshest punishment in the official prison hierarchy. Then again, in the unofficial one too—this is where people are most often tortured and killed. Here is how it works. A concrete kennel 2.5 by 3 meters (about 8 by 10 feet). Most of the time it is unbearable because it is cold and damp. I got the beach version—it is extremely hot and there is almost no air. The vent window is tiny. There is no ventilation. At night you lie there and feel like a fish stranded on shore. The iron bunk is fastened to the wall. At 5 a.m. they take away the mattress and pillow (this is called “soft inventory”) and raise the bunk. At 9 p.m. the bunk is lowered again. An iron table and bench, a sink, a hole in the floor. Two cameras under the ceiling. Visits are forbidden, letters are forbidden, care packages are forbidden. It is the only place in the prison where even smoking is forbidden. Paper and a pen are given out for 1 hour and 15 minutes a day. Exercise means an hour in a similar cell, but with a patch of sky. Constant searches, and hands behind your back at all times. So here I am now, sitting on an iron bench at an iron table. I will finish this post and then write instructions for prisoners about their rights in the workplace, until they take the paper away. The commission was right: it seems I am incorrigible 😉