My latest stretch of relaxation outside the punishment cell didn’t last long—exactly one day. They let me out on Monday, and yesterday they locked me up again. This time, for 12 days, for having “used the word ‘fuck’ in a conversation with my cellmate” (sorry). This is my ninth stint in the punishment cell (SHIZO, a Russian penal isolation cell) in six months. Today, by the way, marks exactly half a year since I arrived at this penal colony, and it turns out I’ve spent exactly half that time in SHIZO. This “voucher” isn’t the most lawless one—in the sense that they’re all lawless—but it is definitely the most cynical. Just picture it: a commission of 10 thick-necked cops, every one of whom not only uses profanity but practically speaks it as a first language, as I can always confirm while standing in the corridor waiting for my cases to be heard and listening to the shouts coming from their offices. And there they are, barely holding back their laughter, literally snickering, as they examine my antisocial behavior. - Aren’t you ashamed, inmate Navalny, to use such a crude word? - And it’s not even the first time—this is a pattern of behavior with him. - Well then, what are your views, esteemed members of the commission? - Given the seriousness of the offense, I propose placing him in the punishment cell. - Inmate Navalny, for your violation you will be placed in the punishment cell for a term of 12 days. I honestly don’t know how they managed not to burst out laughing as a group. I return to the cell, and my former cellmate is staring at me with wild eyes: “Why are you back here again? You just got out.” Well, I say, they gave me 12 days for saying the word “fuck” in a conversation with you. The guy stares at me for a few seconds, unsure whether I’m joking or not, and when he sees that I’m serious, he says indignantly: “Fuck, that can’t be true.”