I listened to Putin’s press conference, and a thought struck me. I know the answer to the main question of contemporary Russian politics: what HE should do once he stops being president. Prime minister? Not serious. Chairman of the IOC or something like that? Completely ridiculous. Putin needs a job that - matches his status - would be genuinely useful and important for the country - would allow him to control major financial flows - would immortalize his memory forever and ever (it’s already immortalized, but it needs to be even more so). That’s what Putin needs. But what do we need? What does the country need? In practical terms. The Olympics, maybe? To hell with that. In ten years nobody will even remember it. What we need is a new capital. We all love and adore Moscow, but we have to admit that our city is morally and technically outdated. It is a capital of the 16th century. For the capital of a power that claims a special role in the world of the 21st century, it is completely unsuitable. Capital functions are suffocating Moscow. Crooks with flashing blue lights drive into the center every morning and back out to their country houses every evening. Let them drive, fine, but for their sake the roads are blocked for millions of ordinary people. Moscow’s radial-ring layout makes it impossible for a city with this population to function normally. You can impose as many restrictions as you like on building in the center, but people will still build offices and housing as close to the Kremlin as possible. The cross-city transport corridors envisioned in early master plans have already been built over. Traffic jams cannot be defeated. Moscow needs to limit its growth, but that is impossible as long as it remains the capital. The question of building our own Russian Washington-Brasília-Astana has been raised many times; urbanists support it passionately, but it never goes beyond words. It’s expensive, and no one is ready to take responsibility for such a political decision. No joke—it’s the CAPITAL OF RUSSIA. But now the moment has come to make that political decision. On the last day of his presidency, at some grandiose ceremonial gathering or other, Putin should announce the construction of the New Capital of the New Russia. And that he himself will head the project. The location of the city is a matter for debate and calculation. The new capital should be in a strategic location and have abundant water resources. I quite like one option I’ve heard from some very respected architects—somewhere around the town (or is it a settlement? I don’t know) of Bologoye, between Moscow and St. Petersburg, closer to Moscow. Back in the day, in the 1920s, there was a master plan for Moscow that everyone recognized as brilliant. Under it, Moscow was supposed to become a kind of comet: the nucleus would be the historic center, and a giant cloud-like tail would stretch toward St. Petersburg. Unfortunately, the project was rejected, and instead they started carving Moscow up into idiotic rings, and now we have what we have. Now is the time to return to that project by “turning it upside down.” The nucleus of the new capital would be a new city, with the tail stretching toward Moscow. And Moscow itself (which we will not rename Old Vasyuki—a comic reference from Ilf and Petrov) we will build outward to meet it. Everyone would support this idea enthusiastically. Both the professional community and the general public. It has whimsy, grandeur, and a metaphysical hint to it. It has everything. Of course, a couple of tedious liberals will start their usual whining, but there’s no point listening to them, because it is impossible to please them anyway. We will build a new city. It will be the best and most modern capital in the world. The most livable city. No lousy skyscrapers. No idiotic multi-level interchanges. Everything here will be simple and convenient, yet majestic at the same time. We will hold a global competition for the new capital’s master plan. What will the new city be called? In my opinion: Putinsk. Or Vladimirsk. Or something along those lines. The question is whether to call it that immediately or after Putin’s death (God grant him health). I think immediately. Let me note that I AM NOT BEING IRONIC IN THE SLIGHTEST. I am completely serious in thinking that Putin, whatever our attitude toward him may be (mine is negative), is in any case already a historical figure. He has ruled Russia for nine years, and so he can вполне aim for something like this. We cannot allow an already existing city to be renamed “Putinsk.” But if he builds a new city himself, then it should bear his name. Who will build the new capital? No Ravshans and Jamshuts (stereotypical migrant-worker names from Russian pop culture), no Turkish specialists. The new capital is a city of new hope. It will be built by Russian people, for whom this construction will mark the beginning of a new life. Right now, millions of Russians live outside the Russian Federation. Many of them do not want to return. But many do. They are specialists, but there is no work or housing for them in Russia. A special program should be announced under which, at the state’s expense, five hundred thousand Russians living abroad would be invited to build the new capital. Yes, for the next five to eight years these people would face hard work and cramped living conditions. But they would be relocated at the government’s expense, guaranteed employment (if they are qualified specialists or are willing to acquire qualifications on site), paid high wages, and given excellent free housing—the very housing they themselves will build. Thus, the new capital would become the true center of the empire, the capital of the Russian state, offering new hope and a new life to its citizens. Now let us move on to a question that is not the main one, but is of primary importance: where to get the money, and how much this pleasure will cost. Let’s take out a calculator and make a very primitive estimate that will nevertheless reflect the order of magnitude. The new capital will be built over ten years. After five years, the most important organs of government will begin moving there. The following will have to relocate there: the President and his administration, the Federal Assembly, the Government with the ministry apparatuses, and the courts. Let us assume that this amounts to 200,000 people. Including family members, that makes one million people. Plus the 500,000 people we brought in to build the city—its first residents. For 200,000 officials, we would need to build 4 million square meters of administrative space (let’s assume an average of 20 square meters per person, though in reality it would be less). For all residents (1.5 million), we would need to build 30 million square meters of housing (again, 20 square meters per person)—roughly 750,000 separate homes. The construction cost of a monolithic concrete building in Moscow built to an individual design (including absolutely all expenses) is $1,300 per square meter. Let’s adjust for the fact that this is construction in an empty field with no utilities. Let’s also adjust for the fact that government buildings cost much more to build than ordinary housing. Let’s take the cost of housing construction at $3,000 per square meter, and administrative space at $10,000. That means housing would cost $90 billion, and offices $40 billion. Total: $130 billion. Add 30 percent that will inevitably be stolen siphoned off by the people making the decisions. Add expenses for assorted military nonsense (a command post and some useless but obligatory underground tunnel covered in cobwebs): $10 billion. Add the initial construction costs for Especially Majestic Structures: - the largest church in the world - a new university - a nanotechnology research center or something like that another $20 billion. Add another billion for roads. That gives us a total of $200 billion. Or $20 billion a year. That sum may not be laughably small, but it is entirely manageable. We have that kind of money. Surely you’ll agree it’s better to spend cash on a new capital than to pour it into the national “Housing” project, which has already caused housing prices to double. It is far better to spend money from the investment fund on the city of “Putinsk” than on helping Sberbank and Rosneft, as Gref demands. Not to mention that this is a profitable undertaking. The building materials industry, like construction in general, is a locomotive of the economy. Multiplicative effect and all that. We’ll even make money on the deal. And we should not forget that everything here has been calculated on the assumption that the state budget will pay for everything. But business will follow too. One way or another, raise your hands if you think the state can spend our hard-earned petrodollars with an efficiency greater than 3 percent. I don’t see any hands. So let us at least get an awesome new capital for our petrodollars, one we can all be proud of. The first city with proper zoning, districting, and all that sort of thing. The first human city in Russia. Moscow will be the business capital. St. Petersburg the cultural capital. And Putinsk the administrative one. And then we will all be happy. And Putin will have a job. I would be very glad to hear feedback on this PROJECT of national importance. And I would also ask those who like the idea of the city of “Putinsk” and this version of employment for VVP (Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin) to promote this post in their cozy little journals (blogs). As is well known, the Presidential Administration doesn’t do a damn thing; they just sit on LiveJournal like all office slaves. Let them read this post sooner, pass it off as their own idea, and slip it into the cherished little red folder marked “for briefing.” P.S. Why is everyone so hung up on Bologoye? That location is given only as an approximate example. It could be built in any suitable place. That’s a matter for calculation. I agree that Bologoye is a dreadful dump.