For the past six months I’ve been spending a lot of time on planes. It’s boring and unpleasant there. So I decided to watch movies on my laptop—it’s more fun than staring at the back of the seat in front of me or playing sudoku on my phone. I asked the guys at work for help (thanks s4er), and they introduced me to the amazing world of torrents and downloaded a few movies for me.* (I confess, yes, it’s piracy. Torrents are evil). *Yesterday. We took off, and they said we could turn on electronic devices. So I thought, why not watch the motion picture "Brüno," which is currently doing very well in theaters around the country. I’m watching. Naturally, everyone sitting behind me is looking at my screen. Where else are they supposed to look? Anyone who’s seen this movie will understand why by the second minute I was already blushing hard: strangers are watching my screen, and on the screen, excuse me, two guys are simulating sex acts and all kinds of outrageous perversions. You can’t exactly turn around and make an announcement to everyone: this is a famous American comedian who made a parody comedy, blah blah, if you could hear the audio (and I’m sitting there with headphones on), then you’d understand, blah blah So I sit there, laughing and blushing. Every time a naked guy appears, I feel horribly awkward in front of the passengers behind me. And every time I think: maybe that’s it, maybe there won’t be any more, maybe that was the last time? Around the fifteen-minute mark they stopped showing naked men and started showing close-ups of penises. Like, the intro to Brüno’s show. In the context of the movie it was very funny, but it was no longer possible to keep embarrassing the passengers and embarrassing myself like that. I had to close the laptop. I tried to do it with as much dignity as possible: not like I’d suddenly gotten ashamed and slammed it shut in a panic, but more like I’d simply gotten bored and lazily turned the movie off. So I never did finish watching "Brüno."
By the way, the film’s website has a Funny Shirts section where you can grab some funny userpics, though they’re of a rather specific kind. I decided to go with this one:
but there are also these:
here’s one that’s perfect for people who like showing up in the comments and starting a scandal:
Help yourselves.
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