Several people have written to me with the same complaint: why am I not fighting the blue-light brigade and completely ignoring this issue? What, not up to it? Or scared? Or maybe you're annoyed that you don't have an exclusive on this topic and, imagining yourself a star, don't want to help the nationwide push? Huh? I'm up to it, I'm not scared, and I do want to. I've been working on it quietly. I hope to soon share some interesting results from my digging. For now, I can report some strange disorders of sight and hearing at the Moscow traffic police department (UGIBDD). Everyone, of course, remembers the famous video in which the conscientious citizen Andrei Hartli defeated some pointless jerk with a flashing blue light who decided to take a spin down the oncoming lane.
This was discussed endlessly, and people were outraged. So I went ahead and quickly filed a complaint through the Interior Ministry's online reception office. After all, we're not idiots; we know the traffic rules. The driver of a vehicle using special signals may deviate from certain rules, but must have both the flashing beacon and the audible signal turned on. Fortunately, A. Hartli recorded the video with sound, and we can clearly confirm that BMW A039MP97 was driving in the oncoming lane without activating the special audible signal. A violation? Yes. A serious one? Yes. What kind of state do we live in? A law-governed one (as the lawyers in power like to say). So I demanded an inquiry and punishment for those responsible. My letter wandered the corridors of the Interior Ministry for a long time. They couldn't not reply, and they couldn't reply. And then one fine day I receive not one but two responses, with the same outgoing number but different dates: One.
Two.
Just imagine the level of moral anguish suffered by V.P. Tomchak, who signed the reply. First they effectively describe the violation: "was proceeding with the beacon activated" (not a word about the audible signal), and then they inform me that yes, the audible signal is required. They send the letter. Then the bosses realize the letter could be interpreted against BMW A039MP97, so they write the same letter again, but add a paragraph saying they are refusing to open a case. And they don't even attach the actual ruling refusing to do so. The truly infernal part is the wild, blatant lying the cops are willing to resort to in order to shield these blue-light VIPs. The nonsense they write is unbelievable. They're covering for them not even with their backs anymore, but with their asses. There's video. Everything is obvious. Obviously, we'll start hammering them through the prosecutor's office and the courts. And they don't care, so long as no one lays a hand on the holiest and most sacred thing in today's ruling system: the right of idlers and crooks with official IDs to speed along, overtaking the cattle stuck in traffic. That will be the very last thing they give up. The world will collapse. The boat will slowly sink into a raging sea, but Putin will stand firm on the bridge. On his cap, with its handsome gold cockade, a blue beacon will slowly rotate. In its blue flashes we will make out D.A. Medvedev. He clutches the handheld game *Nu, pogodi!* (a Soviet-era electronic game, here mockingly described as a brilliant invention of the scientists of Skolkovo, Russia's state-backed innovation hub) and in a fading voice intones: woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo. That is the audible signal. I'll keep you posted on the progress of the case. If A. Hartli himself turns up wanting to continue his duel, I'll help however I can. Update. Let me answer everyone at once—I'm sick of typing this in the comments. The blue-light driver was making maneuvers that clearly required right of way. He wasn't driving in a reserved lane, he was driving in the oncoming lane. In daylight. On the Garden Ring. In Moscow. There were cars in the oncoming lane. He was forcing them to stop and/or yield to him. The drivers had to give way to avoid a crash. But without the siren, he had no right to claim that priority.