I'm writing from my wife's iPad. You could call this a cry for help. Attention everyone— That malicious piece of software, Windows Vista, started installing some updates on my laptop yesterday, and I was in a hurry and—idiot that I am—just shut it off. As a result, the laptop now doesn't detect Wi‑Fi, won't connect to the internet by cable, etc. System Restore isn't working either. People on Twitter gave me all sorts of advice, and none of it worked. I'm not even asking for advice on what to do. I've asked a hundred times in situations like this, and not once has anything helped. I have just one question: is there anyone around New Haven who knows their way around this disgusting Windows and can fix everything? And one more thing. I think I'm finally ready to say, "Windows, burn in hell," and go buy a MacBook tomorrow. But what am I supposed to do about the keyboard? It won't have Russian letters on it, will it?

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