If you want to see a photo of the saddest person in the world, then buy it.
http://www.gazeta.ru/news/lenta/2011/11/24/n_2108730.shtml http://esquire.ru/ And inside there’s a photo with an even sadder expression. In that one, I can already seriously compete with the Puss in Boots cat from Shrek. I was photographed by the famous Martin Schoeller, a renowned master of close-up portraits. Almost all the covers of the Russian edition of Esquire are his work. Working with him was a separate and very interesting experience. He’s this cheerful German guy with dreadlocks. Despite the general atmosphere of lighthearted chaos, everything runs like clockwork. Everyone knows their place. We started exactly on time and finished exactly on time (dreadlocks or not, he’s still German). He looked especially amusing when we were shooting outside: this photographic field marshal marching along with a camera in his hands, followed by an army of assistants carrying bags, bits of metal, and an entire cart full of equipment. This is how a face portrait gets made: they sit you down between two glowing, flashing columns, and Martin shoots you from about 70 centimeters away (0.7 meters) with some camera that looks absolutely ancient. It doesn’t even use film, but some kind of photographic plates. For forty minutes straight. You’re not supposed to act out anything — just sit there and look into the camera. As if Schoeller sees right through you and already knows what kind of face you’re supposed to have. Well, apparently this is mine. Along with the sad photos in Esquire, they also include their trademark “Rules of Life” — what was left after a five-hour cross-examination conducted by Golubovsky, Kazinik, and Loshak. From time to time there’s some not entirely censored language (my apologies in advance), as well as insulting epithets aimed at Honored and People’s Artists (official Soviet/Russian honorary titles) zаслуженных и народных артистов. But you can’t take words out of a song.