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Listen, we missed it.

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A national holiday. This is terrible—we

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forget our heroes,

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the ones who fight every day without sparing

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any effort to achieve their goal. And if our entire

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state had a task that

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its leader pursued as best

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he could, and he succeeded—doesn’t that

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deserve

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a holiday? But you

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ungrateful people know nothing about it.

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But fortunately, you have me to remind you

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about it. Here they are, these two heroes:

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Vladimir Putin has spent 18 years doing everything

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he can to make sure as many state contracts as possible

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go to his childhood friend,

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Arkady Rotenberg.

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And Arkady Rotenberg, in turn, diligently

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grabs that money, pockets it, and

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stashes it away in their joint offshore

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accounts. Not an easy job.

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But can difficulties stop these

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people? Absolutely not. And today, from the bottom of

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my heart, I want to congratulate Vladimir

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Vladimirovich Putin and Arkady

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Romanovich Rotenberg, because our

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spreadsheet, where we carefully recorded all

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the state contracts handed to Rotenberg on behalf of

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our entire nation, has reached

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the wonderful round figure of 1 trillion

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rubles. Hooray, comrades. That’s no small change—

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a trillion is a major achievement. And

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that’s not the income of the entire Rotenberg family,

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of whom there are already quite

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a few, but only of the company Stroygazmontazh,

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which is 100 percent owned

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personally by Rotenberg. He is our

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chief builder of everything from pipelines across the country

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to the Crimean Bridge—he builds everything.

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And don’t argue with me: this really

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deserves a nationwide

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celebration. We could call it Kickback Day

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or the Day of the Insatiable Leech

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or the Festival of Greedy Ghouls, because

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the amount is certainly impressive: 1 trillion

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rubles. That’s three times more than the entire

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Russian federal healthcare budget

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and twice as much as the entire

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federal education budget. It’s 11

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times more than all spending on physical culture and sports.

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Listen, I think that’s roughly the amount

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allocated to national defense

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in the federal budget. Just

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imagine it: Russia’s entire huge army—

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tanks, guns, planes, military

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bases, salaries, food supplies—and one

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Arkady Rotenberg. Well, not one alone, of course—

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obviously together with Vladimir

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Vladimirovich, working his magic. We can talk about

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very balanced

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budget policy all we want, but it still

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boggles the mind.

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Especially considering that you and I

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know perfectly well who

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Rotenberg is. Sorry, but he’s a nobody out of nowhere.

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He invented nothing, created nothing,

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came up with nothing. He did judo with Putin

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in childhood, graduated from an institute of physical education, and that’s it.

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And then—bam—a trillion. That’s

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your

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success story. No Hollywood movie

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even comes close. And the coolest

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and most thrilling part of this arrangement is that

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Putin, acting on behalf of all of us as head

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of state, took our trillion and handed

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it to Rotenberg—and on top of that, a whole lot of

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people in the country go around saying what a

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wonderful president we have, what a

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great guy he is, how carefully he treats our

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money.

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Where’s the money? Return the money. So I’m congratulating not only

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Vladimir Vladimirovich

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and Arkady Romanovich, but you as well,

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my dear fellow Russians. As it turns out, our entire

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state exists

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only to funnel money to

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Putin’s friends. Probably some people think

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that this is exactly how it should be, that it’s all perfectly right, and so

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once again I propose that we

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split into two camps, if you don’t mind.

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If the remarkable fate

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of this trillion doesn’t bother you at all, then fine—

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celebrate. This truly is your holiday. But

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if you disagree, if this situation

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seems a little crazy to you, and you think

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that maybe, somehow, this trillion could have been

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spent a little better—hard

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to say exactly how, I don’t know—

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but surely there are

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other builders and contractors in Russia,

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not just Rotenberg—then join

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me. Sign in support of my movement,

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support my election campaign, and

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most importantly, do not stay silent, because

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it is precisely our silence

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that is the main condition for

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the emergence in our country of these kind of

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holidays. Subscribe to our

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channel.

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This is where the truth is told.

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