Listen, we missed it.
A national holiday. This is terrible—we
forget our heroes,
the ones who fight every day without sparing
any effort to achieve their goal. And if our entire
state had a task that
its leader pursued as best
he could, and he succeeded—doesn’t that
deserve
a holiday? But you
ungrateful people know nothing about it.
But fortunately, you have me to remind you
about it. Here they are, these two heroes:
Vladimir Putin has spent 18 years doing everything
he can to make sure as many state contracts as possible
go to his childhood friend,
Arkady Rotenberg.
And Arkady Rotenberg, in turn, diligently
grabs that money, pockets it, and
stashes it away in their joint offshore
accounts. Not an easy job.
But can difficulties stop these
people? Absolutely not. And today, from the bottom of
my heart, I want to congratulate Vladimir
Vladimirovich Putin and Arkady
Romanovich Rotenberg, because our
spreadsheet, where we carefully recorded all
the state contracts handed to Rotenberg on behalf of
our entire nation, has reached
the wonderful round figure of 1 trillion
rubles. Hooray, comrades. That’s no small change—
a trillion is a major achievement. And
that’s not the income of the entire Rotenberg family,
of whom there are already quite
a few, but only of the company Stroygazmontazh,
which is 100 percent owned
personally by Rotenberg. He is our
chief builder of everything from pipelines across the country
to the Crimean Bridge—he builds everything.
And don’t argue with me: this really
deserves a nationwide
celebration. We could call it Kickback Day
or the Day of the Insatiable Leech
or the Festival of Greedy Ghouls, because
the amount is certainly impressive: 1 trillion
rubles. That’s three times more than the entire
Russian federal healthcare budget
and twice as much as the entire
federal education budget. It’s 11
times more than all spending on physical culture and sports.
Listen, I think that’s roughly the amount
allocated to national defense
in the federal budget. Just
imagine it: Russia’s entire huge army—
tanks, guns, planes, military
bases, salaries, food supplies—and one
Arkady Rotenberg. Well, not one alone, of course—
obviously together with Vladimir
Vladimirovich, working his magic. We can talk about
very balanced
budget policy all we want, but it still
boggles the mind.
Especially considering that you and I
know perfectly well who
Rotenberg is. Sorry, but he’s a nobody out of nowhere.
He invented nothing, created nothing,
came up with nothing. He did judo with Putin
in childhood, graduated from an institute of physical education, and that’s it.
And then—bam—a trillion. That’s
your
success story. No Hollywood movie
even comes close. And the coolest
and most thrilling part of this arrangement is that
Putin, acting on behalf of all of us as head
of state, took our trillion and handed
it to Rotenberg—and on top of that, a whole lot of
people in the country go around saying what a
wonderful president we have, what a
great guy he is, how carefully he treats our
money.
Where’s the money? Return the money. So I’m congratulating not only
Vladimir Vladimirovich
and Arkady Romanovich, but you as well,
my dear fellow Russians. As it turns out, our entire
state exists
only to funnel money to
Putin’s friends. Probably some people think
that this is exactly how it should be, that it’s all perfectly right, and so
once again I propose that we
split into two camps, if you don’t mind.
If the remarkable fate
of this trillion doesn’t bother you at all, then fine—
celebrate. This truly is your holiday. But
if you disagree, if this situation
seems a little crazy to you, and you think
that maybe, somehow, this trillion could have been
spent a little better—hard
to say exactly how, I don’t know—
but surely there are
other builders and contractors in Russia,
not just Rotenberg—then join
me. Sign in support of my movement,
support my election campaign, and
most importantly, do not stay silent, because
it is precisely our silence
that is the main condition for
the emergence in our country of these kind of
holidays. Subscribe to our
channel.
This is where the truth is told.