Woland from United Russia

[music]

Oh, do I have a great story for you.

I’m sure that once you hear it, you’ll immediately

rush to register for Smart Voting

so people like our

hero here can’t become deputies again. And this isn’t

just a great story—it’s practically

lifted from what is perhaps the most popular

work of literature in Russia: the novel

*The Master and Margarita*. There’s an episode where

Koroviev, a member of Satan’s retinue,

entertains Margarita with all sorts of chatter, and

when she wonders how an ordinary

Moscow apartment could be made enormous inside

with the help of magic, he

explains that something similar can be done

even without magic, and

goes on to tell a funny story: so, one man got

a three-room apartment

on Zemlyanoy Val, then partitioned off one

room, and turned it into a four-room apartment,

which he exchanged for two apartments—one with three rooms and one with two,

making five rooms total. Then he traded one apartment again,

for something else.

And so on. As a result of a series of

clever combinations, this man was supposed to end up

with a six-room apartment

on his Zemlyanoy Val street. True, nothing

came of it—but apparently that’s why the story is told with such

irony by one of Satan’s henchmen.

Now look here: this man, of course,

doesn’t have horns and hooves,

at first glance. But when it comes to apartments, his luck

is positively devilish—and so is his position.

He is the leader of the United Russia faction

in the Moscow City Duma: Stepan Orlov.

He was elected from the Orekhovo-Borisovo

North and South districts. Stepan Orlov became

a Moscow City Duma deputy at the age of 26, back in

2007—that is, more than 20 years ago.

You may be wondering: how did he get elected

at such a young age? That’s funny too, and

the explanation is that times were different then,

and so were the heroes. Stepan Orlov worked

as an aide to Irina Khakamada, and on the wave of

her popularity, he got elected. Though,

to be fair, since then he has stopped being a democrat

altogether.

And became a United Russia boss,

the faction leader, and also

head of the committee on urban services

and housing policy. And in that

housing policy area, real

miracles happen for him.

In 2007, during our Stepan’s third term as a deputy,

he had an apartment on Krupskaya Street,

58 square meters (about 624 sq ft), an ordinary enough

apartment. And deputy Stepan Orlov

decides to improve his housing situation

and swaps this apartment—gives it to Moscow,

that is, to the state, that is, to us—and in return

receives from the city 166 square meters (about 1,787 sq ft) on

Udaltsova Street.

He gave Moscow 58 square meters, and Moscow gave him

three times as much, in the same district but in

a better building. Would you agree to

a deal like that? Can you feel how close we are

to the characters from *The Master and

Margarita* here?

Well, would you agree to make

such a deal? But don’t worry, you’re

safe.

No one will offer you anything like that. You’re not

a deputy. In 2012, deputy Stepan, after five years

living in his brand-new apartment

of double the size, starts to feel that it has somehow

become a bit cramped.

So he swaps apartments again, and again with

the city of Moscow. And here’s the amazing part:

he returns to Moscow the 160-square-meter apartment

on Udaltsova Street, and the city of Moscow

—that is, we do—gives him two apartments in return,

but this time not in the southwest

but in the center, on Arbat—not in some

high-rise anthill of a building,

but in a solid, prestigious building for deputies. In short,

look at the deal: Orlov’s apartment on

Udaltsova Street, and two apartments in the residential

complex *House on Kompozitorskaya*. Judging by the

dates,

Moscow City Hall specifically bought these two

adjacent apartments in an elite residential

complex in order to swap them with

our wonderful Stepan. One apartment is 114

square meters (about 1,227 sq ft), the other 132 (about 1,421 sq ft).

It’s easy to calculate that instead of his

160-square-meter apartment,

Orlov received 246 square meters (about 2,648 sq ft)—and not on the outskirts,

but in central Moscow.

Isn’t that wonderful? And after that, can’t one say

that real life in Russia is more impressive

than anything imagined in

any book? You and I are being robbed so elegantly

here.

Bulgakov would die of delight if he heard

this story. But it gets even better.

Let’s open the latest asset declaration of the leader

of the United Russia faction.

We see his wife’s apartment, who, by the way,

calls herself Countess Orlova, on

1st Tverskaya-Yamskaya Street,

100 square meters (about 1,076 sq ft). And items 2 and 3

are the apartments he got in the Arbat swap.

So he has 350 square meters (about 3,767 sq ft) of personal

housing, and on top of that he also rents

official housing—another 300 square meters (about 3,229 sq ft). That means

you and I swapped his 58 square meters on

Krupskaya Street

for 250 square meters (about 2,691 sq ft) on Arbat, and after that he still

tells us, “Guys, I’ve got nowhere to live,”

“give me official housing too.” Okay then—here’s

another 300 square meters. Smart

Voting, in the end, is simply

a way to say no to exactly these kinds of

schemes. Take part, if only

to make your position clear: I don’t want

to keep swapping apartments with these Stepan

Orlovs anymore, because in the end

He seems to be doing very well with his housing deals.

But everything else is very bad.

All of United Russia (the ruling political party) is riding on our

backs.

Get as many people as possible involved from Vesyoloe Nozhki.

Bring them to Smart Voting, especially

if you're from Orekhovo-Borisovo and your

deputy is Stepan Orlov.

Subscribe to our channel here

they tell the truth.