It’s fascinating to watch the authorities gradually invent a language of euphemisms whenever they have some unwelcome news to deliver. Straight-up Newspeak from 1984.
“Salaries will grow more smoothly.” Just beautiful, really.
Instead of a blunt, crude, unpleasant headline like “There’s no money to index public-sector workers’ salaries” or “The government will be unable to fully index salaries,” they went with the gentler, more delicate “salaries will grow more smoothly.”
Public-sector workers immediately stopped worrying—after all, sharp pay raises overstimulate the nervous system and are simply dangerous.
There’s already stress everywhere, and then on top of that your salary suddenly gets a sharp increase. You’d never have enough therapists.
But a “more gradual” raise—it has a beneficial effect on the body.
And really, it’s such an elegant turn of phrase. Compare:
- Food prices are rising less smoothly than one might like. (“Everything is expensive.”)
- Could you consume alcohol a bit more smoothly. (“Stop getting wasted.”)
- Lately, you’ve been gaining weight less smoothly. (“You’re fat.”)
So that’s how a more skillful use of language can easily improve our lives without any additional budget spending.