It seems my wife has ended up on the list of especially dangerous smugglers.
Now every time they cross the border, she and the kids get thoroughly searched. The last time, they even checked Zakhar’s backpack for a false bottom! When asked, “What are you looking for?”, they replied, “Are you carrying any securities?”
Oh yes, of course we are. We stole from Putin’s academic supervisor a block of shares that somehow ended up in his possession and made him a billionaire.
Today they felt through all the carry-on luggage, went through every scrap of paper in the bag, and examined every plastic card in the wallet. Yulia was seriously worried that the customs officer might swipe her Troika card (a Moscow public transport card).
What they were looking for was, once again, unclear. What can you hide in a piece of paper? Drugs? A diamond? Koschei’s needle (a reference to the villain in Russian folklore)?
Obviously, these searches are purely a coincidence. How could it be otherwise? Russia is ranked first in heroin consumption, so naturally all suspicious people have to be searched. And of course, people with the surname “Navalny/Navalnaya” are the most suspicious types of all. They have to be checked.
Still, customs did a poor job. While they were looking through the bag and wallet, the main treasure was standing right in front of them—and then slipped onto the sovereign territory of the Russian Federation. Sneaky.
Happy birthday, Yulia. How wonderful that customs didn’t confiscate you as an undeclared precious item or a flammable object.