I watched A.G. Lukashenko’s speech to the workers of the Minsk Wheel Tractor Plant and realized that I have no less moral right to govern Belarus than he does. ⠀ He and I have a lot in common. 1. We both like having our pictures taken by a haystack. 2. Light brown hair (for now, I have more of it). 3. Mustaches (for now, he has more). 4. A blade of grass to chew on while gazing thoughtfully into the distance. 5. A neat side part in the son’s hair. 6. Neither he nor I won the 2020 presidential election in the Republic of Belarus.