“Wellllll, Alexei, you’ve really been busy — committed quite a number of crimes,” I said to myself as I looked at the enormous volumes of the indictment. The Prosecutor General’s Office has officially provided me with 3,828 pages describing the crimes I allegedly committed while already sitting in prison. The trial on these charges begins on May 31. Still, although the sheer size of the volumes makes it obvious that I am a sophisticated and persistent criminal, it is impossible to find out what exactly I am accused of. An ordinary person is given the indictment and told: sit and read. But the prison colony administration took my indictment away, because in the SHIZO (punishment cell) it is considered a prohibited item. A mug (1 item) and a book (1 item) are on the approved list, but an indictment is not. And the fact that you are on trial, facing up to 30 years, and would like to understand what you are accused of and what evidence supposedly proves it — nobody could care less. “So, inmate Navalny, they gave you a book, didn’t they? Then sit there and read, and you’ll find out what you’re accused of when the verdict is delivered.”