“If Purim is being celebrated in the Kremlin, That means the Third Rome is in trouble again.” Don’t get mad—I haven’t started writing antisemitic poetry after losing my mind from being stuck in the SHIZO (punitive isolation cell) all the time. These are lyrics from a song that all prisoners are made to listen to several times a day as part of their “re-education work.” In theory, the main purpose of prisons and camps is not punishment but the rehabilitation of criminals. That’s why penal colonies are even officially called CORRECTIONAL institutions. And in order for criminals to be reformed, they are subjected to “educational work”—supposedly one of the most important functions of the entire prison system. In practice, it’s a colossal sham. All this “educational work” boils down to watching videos on “preventing extremism” and listening to patriotic music. And what an amazing playlist it is. Five times a day I’m told that celebrating Purim, the Jewish holiday, is a sign of impending war. Five times a day I’m firmly informed that we will not allow “our baptized sisters to become their Salomes” (this is a remix, by the way; the original uses a different word—listen to the carousel). Several times a day they play—no joke—“Where Does the Motherland Begin?” performed by Zhirinovsky. My favorite song, also on repeat, is about Shoigu and the “special military operation” (the Kremlin’s term for the war in Ukraine), and it goes like this: “When the generals in Moscow report New victories with champagne in hand, Russian boys die for Rus’, Sparing not the enemy, with smiles on their lips.” Another song fits the wartime mood perfectly, making it clear that the leadership of the Federal Penitentiary Service fully shares Yevgeny Prigozhin’s assessment of Defense Minister Shoigu’s military talents: “Once again our boys have walked into an ambush, Under a hail of fire they had to fight to survive, Some rat is operating inside headquarters, And it’s a pity we still can’t get to him.” I tell the cops: do you even listen to what’s playing in your prison camp? You yourselves could get locked up for extremism. Nope, they say, everything is exactly as it should be—re-education work carried out according to the official guidelines. So that’s what this “educational work” is: people are literally being indoctrinated with the idea that those who celebrate Purim are villains plotting something terrible against Mother Russia.