For some reason, trains very often hand out the magazine *64 Chess Review* for free. A decent full-color magazine, 96 pages. Apparently someone in the management of Russian Railways (RZD, Russia’s national railway company) is a chess enthusiast. I didn’t bring anything to read, there’s nothing else to do, so I decided to power through this very issue of *64*. The relatively understandable part of the text goes something like: "Black’s pawn structure suffers from a lack of flexibility, and the knight on a6 looks rather pathetic." The rest is just some kind of sinister runes. You almost feel like summoning Hermione Granger. I’m sure anyone who reads this to the end will go insane and strangle their compartment mate. Reading on.