The "Admiration of the Year" award undoubtedly goes to Igor Shuvalov, a government official, multimillionaire, and Deputy Prime Minister of the Russian government. This remarkable character, as we remember, received a $118 million bribe from Abramovich and Usmanov and stuffed that money into a complex offshore system registered mostly in his wife's name.
Now this hypocritical con man is presenting himself as the leading advocate of the "de-offshorization of the economy," and the other day he offered an absolutely astonishing explanation for how his offshore empire came into being. Put down your spoon if you're having breakfast, or you might choke on your oatmeal:
The First Deputy Prime Minister added that he and his wife used foreign jurisdictions to hold assets, in part because they did not want their children to inherit all their property in the event of their deaths. They wanted their children to earn most of their own money, but could not find a suitable way to arrange this other than through foreign ownership, RIA Novosti (a Russian state news agency) reports. http://www.vedomosti.ru/politics/news/20619661/shuvalovy-derzhali-sredstva-za-rubezhom-chtoby-uberech-ih-ot Now that is sheer genius, isn't it? Talented people really are talented at everything. And above all, they're bold—who else would dare say something like that? Compare: "took a $100 million bribe and funneled the cash into an offshore network." and "found a foreign ownership mechanism so the children wouldn't count on inherited property but would earn their own money." It almost brings tears to your eyes—you just want to hold up such a parent as an example to everyone. I suggest making active use of Shuvalov's brilliant idea and recommend the following wording: Vladimir Yakunin: I built a palace with a fur storage room, so that my children could wear chinchilla fur coats even in summer. It will remind them that their father had to work hard to achieve success. Sergei Zheleznyak: I sent my children to prestigious private schools in Switzerland and England, so they could experience the harsh life of being surrounded by depraved European liberals stripped of "spiritual bonds" (a sarcastic reference to conservative Russian rhetoric). Sergei Ivanov: I got my dear son off a criminal case after he ran over an elderly woman at a Moscow intersection, so that he could suffer out in freedom, deprived of the beneficial corrective influence of a standard-regime Russian penal colony. Vladimir Pekhtin: I bought property in Miami so that my son could suffer under the blazing tropical sun—after all, he got bad grades in school. Alexander Bastrykin: I obtained a residence permit in the Czech Republic, so that my children would not simply receive Russian citizenship automatically, but would have to fight for it as if it were the highest value. Vladimir Putin: I had Khodorkovsky imprisoned by an unjust "court" for ten years so that he would not suffer from excess weight (something oligarchs are prone to), but would come out lively, slim, and fit—as fresh as a daisy.
Tags
People