I want to share one alarming fact of life with you. It may be a side effect of exposure to chemical weapons. A terrifying side effect. ⠀ The thing is, I have never cooked. Not once has the process held the slightest interest for me. I love eating, I know good food, but cooking—absolutely not. Lots of people I know are into it, and I used to wonder: what on earth do they see in it? ⠀ And then recently, I was walking through the woods. And all of a sudden I realized: I have to make blini (Russian-style pancakes/crepes). I got very scared and pushed the thought away. But it kept coming back, and even turned into “I have to make the best blini of all.” I broke out in a cold sweat. ⠀ I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was literally walking through the woods thinking about how to make batter for blini. I got home, typed “blini” into YouTube, made the batter exactly according to the recipe, and even—horror of horrors—followed the instructions and left it to rest in the fridge overnight. ⠀ And in the morning I made blini.🥲 Excellent ones. The first one wasn’t a flop at all. The hardest part was learning how to flip them. ⠀ The next morning it happened again, only this time I used a different recipe.😔 ⠀ Then I wrote to Sergei Parkhomenko, a well-known cooking enthusiast, and asked for the best recipe. Sergei explained to me that there is no single best recipe for blini, and that this is the kind of dish where dexterity and personal taste matter most. Like an omelet. So I started working on my dexterity. ⠀ Anyway. By now I’ve made blini with milk, kefir, and just water. Blini with honey batter. I even invented banana batter myself (that one turned out so-so). Spelt blini. Thick, fluffy blini and thin blini. And so on. I melt butter in a double boiler!!! 😫😫😫 ⠀ I’ve fed blini to my wife and children many times now, and I’m seriously starting to think about the neighbors. I’m scared. ⠀ Doctor, what is wrong with me, and is there a cure?