Listen, I’m deeply shocked, and I’m not even asking you to believe this. I just know myself, unfortunately, that this isn’t an old joke, so I can’t help sharing it. Next week Dmitry, his illustrious Anatolyevich, will visit Channel One. I’m not revealing any military secrets here—he’s now got an appearance on Channel One after Putin’s appearance on Rossiya (the Russian state TV channel). And now I really do begin revealing military secrets. The thing is, at Ostankino (the Moscow television center), they always spruce the place up before Vova and Dima arrive. Like in Alice in Wonderland... they paint the roses—cover up all the cracks, Tajik workers wash the barriers, and there’s a whole list of other pointless activities as well. But! This time, the imagination of the Ostankino officials knew no bounds. How could they make things easier for the president, how could they touch his wounded heart with sincere concern? I don’t know who came up with the one and only correct answer to all these rhetorical questions. But it was truly brilliant. In the men’s restroom near the studio where the interview will be recorded and modern history will be made, they carried out some minor cosmetic repairs. They lowered the urinals by 10 cm... //////////